This is me throwing out a blip.
Giselle gives me regular shaming sessions that I don't write here like I used to. As my audience got a little more diverse than I anticipated, I realized I couldn't rant and snark about every little thing that came to mind. I am not someone who "doesn't care what other people think". I do. It's so much better if I can talk about them without them knowing.
I went through a pretty massive mental & physical burnout last year about this time. There was an amazing comet that burst to life during the last week of October 2007. I spent a lot of late evenings with it. I ended up with a great collection of details, measurements, drawings and photographs, but I just about killed myself doing it. Gone are the days when I could give up loads of sleep to do something. Heart palpitations, extreme dizzy spells, and an inability to focus or think are not worth sacrificing sleep to accomplish something.
I've had a kind of mourning period over the last year that I can't stay up all hours with the telescope and then carry on with my life as normal otherwise. I've had to ration my time under the night sky, which is a bummer because it's so amazing here in Flagstaff. The pull is always there when I chance a glance upward at that majestic, foaming ocean of stars.
The kids are amazing. As always. Giselle is in 6th grade, a voracious book consumer, and is the keeper of fairness and justice. Harrison is in 3rd grade, is a budding and hilarious cartoonist, and is the most compassionate person I know.
Five years ago, I lost 21 lbs. trying to get rid of my cholesterol problems by avoiding red meat, cheese & fried foods. The weight loss was great, but when I found out it hadn't helped with the cholesterol at all, I got all kinds of frustrated and threw myself straight off the wagon. Which means I gained it all back with interest. Well, I've reached the point that I can't stand it anymore. I hate worrying about what my gut looks like with various combinations of shirts and pants, and the way my head looks like a thumb (lol). Oh man it's killing me. :) Not to mention the other health issues.
So I've been learning how to 'count calories' and control 'portion size'. I'm not giving up foods I like, I'm just trying to be 'aware' of how much I'm actually stuffing in my face. I'm going for 2000 calories per day. I'm riding my bike partway to work three days a week as long as the wind isn't blowing, and that feels good. The process is making sense, I've lost 3 pounds over the last week, and it feels sustainable. It better be. I wanna plunge my hot bod in a swimming pool this summer and not hear the imaginary screams of terror in my head.
OK, that's all for now.
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