February 2008 Archives

The Chastened Panini

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It's lunchtime storytime!

Over the summer, our team of about 16 people and another team of 4 people moved into a new temporary office. This was to allow our previous building to undergo a remodel so that more bodies could be packed into it. Our new residence is being called a "Two Year Camping Trip". It's actually a pretty nice space. But some interesting problems have cropped up--besides the potential for stairway accidents I mentioned a few months ago. You see, with only 20 people here, there is no in-house housekeeping team. We just have a janitorial service that does not: A) wash dishes, B) clean out stinky refrigerators, C) wipe out encrusted microwaves, or D) etc.

So all those college-days, disgruntled-roommate issues have started to crest the levees of civility. So I, in my cowardly desire to avoid all conflict, have sworn off using any of the supplied dishes, and use the refrigerator and microwave only as an act of last-resort. That way I can float on my lonely, self-righteous little island of 'Not-My-Problem'. But the opportunity to make light of a ridiculous situation is hard for me to resist--even if it means reaching out and touching 'the conflict'.

Last week, the disgruntlement over the wretched refrigerator/microwave and accusations of a dirty panini grill reached a pinnacle. I'd like to share non-confidential snippets of a little email exchange that took place. (Names-except mine-have been changed and quotes reworded to protect fellow sensibilities).

Cheryl: And while we are speaking about crusted stuff, has anyone looked at the Panini grill lately????? It looks like a health code violation

I'm just sayin'............
Mark: Trust me! I always make sure the grill is clean after I use it. However, before you clean it, you need to give it at least a half hour to cool (unless you want second degree burns).
Jeremy:
;-)
Mark: I challenge you to test it!
Jeremy: ahhh!!
Mark: Now you're in deep with the law for fabricating evidence!
Jeremy: Oh the humanity!!!
Mark: I'll wager the forks and spoons in the lunchroom aren't as clean as that dog's tongue!
Jeremy: oh trust me!

And that's about where the Panini email saga ended.

To tackle the refrigerator problem, my cube neighbor suggested a weekly rotation of two-people-per-Friday to throw out old stuff from the fridge. In a cheap display of 'maturity', I volunteered to help with the kick-off cleaning last Friday. There were definitely some nasty artifacts in there. I even had the shame of finding one of my old salsa jars tucked away in the back of the bottom shelf (it was tightly sealed and I could detect no odors leaking--but still--shame shame!). It was a ripe garbage can we left behind, but the janitorial service would arrive in about an hour and seal its fate.

Or so we thought.

I walked in the lunchroom door this morning and about gagged on the thick air. So much for janitorial duties. Someone had already called the building maintenance guy. They asked him to check the plumbing, under the assumption that somebody had choked up the flusher. He knew better though when he got here, and took out the trash for us, bless his heart. The fumes have gradually dissipated and I feel I can now retreat back to my secluded little island. Maybe we can tackle the thrashed-newspaper problem next!