Oh boy am I sick of long voice mail introductions. If you're not at your desk, I just want to leave a message. You don't have to grease me up with a bunch of details about all your job functions and what you're up to this week and all the different phone numbers I should dial for any and all possible needs I might have. Just say:
A. "Hi" or "Hello" or even "Good Morning/Afternoon" if you're the type that likes to update your voice mail settings twice a day (this makes me feel good and that you care about me. It is also brief.)
B. Your name (so I feel secure in the knowledge I'm calling the right person)
C. Your very brief excuse: e.g. "I can't answer the phone right now" (listening to the message, I've already figured this part out, but it will make you feel better and it's to be expected. Please, please do not elaborate on where you are if you can absolutely help it.)
D. Tell me what to do: "Leave a message after the tone" (this also goes without saying, but it's cordial, brief and nobody minds the reminder.)
E. Your optional commitment to me: e.g. "I'll callya back soonasican" (more than half of you won't call me back as soon as you can, but it's nice to know that at some point in your life you thought it was a good idea.)
BEEEP.
That's about 5 or 6 seconds right there.
But if you absolutely must squeeze other info in there like who your emergency contact is or your cell number or when you're coming back from vacation, then have mercy and be snappy about it. Chop-chop!
I had to listen to what must've been a 30 second voice mail intro this morning with a whole flow chart of info describing what steps to take and who to call for this or that and when to try back, just so I could leave a four second message to call me back at such-n-such number. You know how you do that hand rolling gesture with your free hand like you're trying to get the wheels moving faster? Well, I shouldn't have to do that. It doesn't work anyway.
You're doing that right now while you're reading this aren't you.
Okay then.
write a new one, already!
Yep, high time for more bloggin', boy. Hop to it!
It's not the greeting that I get upset with, it's the way people leave their number at the end of a call... "call me at five five five seven twentythree forsixfivate"