Me & Bananas

Hmyeah, so I was tantalizing my tastebuds over at Appetites.us and came across a recipe for a Banana-Cashew Sandwich. As much as I really don't care for bananas, it whetted my appetite to give them a try in this context. Yeah, yeah, I've heard of peanut butter & banana sandwiches before, but sometimes a thing can be said in such a way as to give one a new perspective on it. So today, I went to Safeway to get the necessary lunch materials, and then went home to enjoy. Then I got home and realized I left the bag of bananas and au naturale peanut butter at the store because I love nothing more than to forget things and so waste my time in as many ways as possible. So I returned to the store, to find that nobody knew what I was talking about. "Bananas? A bag of bananas? No. No bag of bananas." Ehh. Maybe I set it on the roof of my car and splattered it all over the road. Forget it. I use dollar bills for toilet paper anyway, so what's four bucks for sammach fixins right? So I bought another round of bananas and organic peanut butter, and off I went, staring at the bag the entire time, half expecting it to vanish from my hands by way of some schizophrenic hallucination feedback loop.

I made it home with the cargo this time, and toasted up some nice munchy honey-wheatberry bread while stirring in the layer of oil on the stratified peanut butter. (I know, his recipe suggests cashew butter, but I didn't want to drive around for an extra half hour to go get some cashew-butter at the hippie store across town. Because as we all know, bigtime corporate grocery stores cater to Homogenized Suburbanites who don't eat any other creamed 'nut' product besides peanuts--and YES I know they're really legumes, so please, no fair getting all pedantic on me. That's my job, thanks kindly.)

Righto.

So I smeared on the peanut grease, sliced up some banana discs, and then drizzled on some honey. Mmmm, it smelled pretty yummy. After pressing it all together, I sat down in the living room and watched some lame 'Young Looney Tunes' cartoon with the kids as I prepared to savor this new delight.

Fooey! I hated it.

Dadgummit. It had such potential. But I can't get past the bananas. I've just never liked them. The flavor is bearable, but the texture bugs me to death. So slimy, yet chewy. And for some reason, this 'bearable' flavor, when mixed with that texture really grosses me out. Even the crunchiness of the bread, and the sweetness of the honey couldn't drown out the greusome banananess of it all.

Oh well. I tried to be as much of a trooper as possible, and ate 85% of it before plopping the last couple bites in the trash. Yechh. So, sorry Mr. Peyton. I tried--I really did.