November 2003 Archives

« October 2003 | Main | December 2003 »

November 21, 2003

Feckless Baloney Flue

Man, I woke up in an uncommonly good mood this morning. Which of course meant I was an obnoxious twit to the rest of my sleepy grouchy family. Giselle was sitting with her head face down on the breakfast table, Harrison was scuffing lopsidedly into the kitchen with his hair all sticking up, and there was Amanda with eyes half-closed trying to fumble coffee grounds into the filter. And there I was "Ohhhh Courage! Your hairrrrrr!" and with smooshy lipped face "Does Giselle want yummy goldfish for breakfast?" and "Sommmebody neeeeds some coffeeeeee...", you know, just general all around taunting. Harrison tottered around, stared at me with his one good eye and told me to "Stop it!" Giselle just groaned, and Amanda threatened to throw a shoe at me. I have no regrets so far. I have to take these opportunities when I can.

Then I get in to work, and first thing, a vendor shows up to 'say hi'. I guess we had all forgotten she was going to 'stop by' this morning. And to make matters worse, she's one of the folks that sells promotional products. Goody. I knew that stood a good chance of draining the perky out of me. So we all piled into our mini conference room and watched as nick-nack after nick-nack was passed around. Little acryclic cubes filled with two colors of liquid and a note holding clip on top, pens that double as radios, football shaped clocks that float on magnets, squishy anatomically correct hearts that you throw against the wall so they can slowly gloop-roll down to the floor. Uh..eheh...here ya go doc, this is an organ we manufacture stents for...now throw it against that window!

Just all sorts of "neat stuff people can keep on their desks" with our logo on them to remind them who was thoughtful enough to endow them with a rotating lens with flashing lights. At one point she brought out a little red plastic half-sphere with slots on it for holding notes on your desk and says "I don't know you guys, what do you think about this one? I'm not to sure I care for it. What do you guys think?" And I'm thinking "What? Is this your sacrificial lamb that is somehow different from the little bendy stick-man toy that has magnetic hands and feet and all the rest of this flapdoodle?" Finally she brought out the pens and I said, "Alrighty! Down to the meat and potatoes!" I don't think she grasped what I was saying. But there were some pretty nice pens in her collection. People like pens. And if they write nicely, they actually use them. But a magnetic puzzle with inspirational phrases on it? Bzzzzt. Where's that trap door lever...oh yea--Foosh!

Then Rob and I got to put a sour-puss on the gal from accounting who was selling all the last minute Christmas Party tickets and was absolutely poleaxed when we declined. D'oh! Buncha scroogy media-group people.

Mmmm. I just had some hot fluffy oatmeal and I'm feeling better again.

Posted by Jeremy at 10:02 AM

November 19, 2003

Elevenses

I think Rob has a tapeworm. A great, big, coiled up wormie.He's somebody who could easily grab the nickname 'slim', but he eats all day long. And I'm not talking granola bars, or Fritos or Top Ramen, I'm talking full-blown home-cooked meals, complete with delicious odors, sizzling sounds and photogenic presentation. Brats with all the fixins, tacos with rice & beans, varieties of potatoes au gratin, homemade buffalo wings with slaw, grilled prawns, etc.

The day before yesterday (when I started writing this :P) I was witness to a course of Salad marinated with deliciously pungent Cardini Italian dressing followed every 2 hours by periodic courses of Sonoran chicken enchiladas with lingering odors of temptation. It's like working in the Shire.

My sandwich and salad take so long to make, I can only do it once. Meanwhile, I cramp up from the delectable odors. I suppose I should be grateful he doesn't keep a web journal that I'm aware of, because I'm sure I know what odor issues he would be writing about :-I

Posted by Jeremy at 9:29 AM

November 14, 2003

Detachment

Much like I was yesterday afternoon, Rob was having himself some cranky this morning. Our leaderette, Barb, was a bit on the chipper side though:

Barb: "Hey guys"
Rob: ::grunt::
Me: "Howdy"
Barb: "So how are things going so far?"
Rob: ::indecipherable grumbling ::
Barb: "Well...at least we made it through all that crud yesterday, right Rob?" ::chipper smile::
Rob: "Yay, so we can go through it all over again today..."
Me: :: snorting laughter ::

I don't know why I find it amusing when somebody keeps flicking positive vibes at somebody else who's obviously in a horrible mood, except that maybe I'm just glad it wasn't me for once :D

Oh man, and now he's trying to take digital pictures of some product packaging and every shot he takes is coming out like crap.
"@#% Yeah it's pretty hi-tech bud. Just point & shoot. Takes a certain kind a person I guess %#$%!." ... "[Curses] Jim I'm a country doctor, not a photographer!"

mmm, I bought a different brand of mushrooms for the salads I've had the past couple days, and they added this wonderful smokey goodness. I'll have to see what the difference was.

Posted by Jeremy at 3:49 PM

Make It Stop

Rod Stewart's Every Picture Tells a Story is playing on the radio right now. Makes me sick. I wish I could wear headphones and listen to my own stuff. Queen's Bicycle song, and Green Grass & High Tides will be playing in the next couple hours too. I'd much rather listen to the sounds of buzzing computer fans and clickedy keyboards.

I need new shoes. Whole lotta scraggle goin on.

Every picture tells a story don't it! Every picture tells a story don't it! Every picture tells a story don't it!

Posted by Jeremy at 10:06 AM

November 7, 2003

PV = nRT

Argh. I just had a bottle of scalding hot, soapy water explode in my face. I had the water bottle sitting by my desk unused for a couple weeks and decided to go de-mold it. There is a boiling-hot water dispenser beside the lunch room sink. So I thought, dish soap plus boiling water = dead mold quick. In goes the soap. In goes the steaming stream of water. I snapped the lid on and shook it a few times. I hadn't considered the air within would have heated up so quickly...probably the shaking & sudsing did it, cuz when I popped the lid open--aimed directly at my eyes for good measure--it kerblooyed soap and scalding droplets all over my face. Since I had an audience of at least one person, I toned down my response from "AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" to a more temperate, "STUPID!! STUPID!! STUPID!!" I'm glad that other guy was there, so he could ask if I was sure I was alright, and hand me a paper towel to wipe the foam and drips off my eyes before opening them. "Quite the science experiment, eh?" he said, once it was clear my eyes didn't look like Qui Chang's master's. Now I just get to wonder if I'll sport a nifty rosacea pattern on my forehead for the next couple days. :P

Posted by Jeremy at 2:32 PM

November 5, 2003

Morbid Molecules

Okay. A little over a month ago, I got the results back from my blood test. And despite my ongoing casual relationship with Subway and Soup-R-Salad, I just about sent the nurse practitioner into a conniption when she saw my cholesterol level. Cheese, you see. Red meat & fried foods too. But yeah, cheese. I'm embarrassed to say what the cholesterol level was, at this stage in my 'recovery', but it was nasty. I almost felt bad for the nurse, as she read the results and chewed on her cuticles. But her level of concern, and that horrible little 3 digit number put a pretty good fear into me. I'm still kindof scared. My liver enzyme level was elevated too. It could be the icky pinkeye infection I was fighting at the time, or it could be the first creaky steps into adult-onset diabetes. Ugh. Heart disease, liver failure, diabetes.

Anyway, instead of coming at it from the angle of handing me a 50 page diet guidelines booklet, they gave me a daily cholesterol fighting medication and a few simple abolitions: no cheese. no red meat. no fried foods. Check packaging labels, and look for 0% cholesterol. For some reason, thinking about what I can't have is making this simpler for me. I had a doctor give me a big meal planning and cholesterol management packet a few years ago, and I've checked out lowfat/low cholesterol recipe books before, and it's just more than I can handle. I don't have a proclivity for cooking. I require simple and fast. The recipe plans were chock full of all these delicious ideas on how to make bland things appetizing, and daily percentages of how much you can eat of this or that, and swapping this bad thing for that on such & such day, but it involved what seemed like lots of planning and prep time, and I couldn't get myself to delve into it.

So I've just stopped eating cheese, red meat, fried foods and cholesterolly packaged foods.

::sniffle:: cheese... ::sniffle::

The nurse asked me what it was about cheese I liked, and to find something that meets that need to some degree. I had to think about that one for a while. Nothing can match all the qualities of cheese, but what are the main things to me besides the wonderful aromas? Salty, Sour, Fatty. That pointed me to balsamic vinaigrette. It's got fat, but not bunches, and a little goes a long way. Most importantly, it has no bad 'ch' word in it. The biggest cholesterol food I'm left with now is chicken breast or sliced turkey. I've got a huge bag of red leaf lettuce, tomato, red onion, green pepper, sliced turkey, Bob Newhart's (Or whatever that guy's name is) Balsamic Vinaigrette, spring mix salad, and gala apples sitting in the refrigerator at work. And every day for lunch, I commune with nature as I wash and cut the vittles up for my salad and sandwich. And I actually look forward to it, it tastes so good. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but, I also found that giving thanks over that kind of a meal very quickly took on more meaning to me than saying a prayer over a Quarter Pounder with Fries.

If I'm in the mood for some quick filler at home, I sautee some onions, garlic, red pepper, oregano & cumin in a little olive oil and add rosarita refries, or sear some rice in it before boiling. It is a culinary travesty I know, but it's fast, and it tastes yummy to me. So there ya have it.

I hope I can keep this up and turn it into one of those lifestyle things. The only time it bums me out is when I smell somebody barbecuing or walk past the deli at the store when they're cooking up some juicy, meaty goodness. I about double over from the cramping and longing in my gut. Oh, and the occasional fantasy about a Carl's Jr. Six Dollar Burger...omg. But aside from that, it's working for me, and I've lost ten pounds over the past month. If that ain't a reward, I don't know what is.

I got a follow up blood test this morning, so I should know pretty soon if I've made a dent in my cholesterol fortress. And the liver thing too, but hopefully that was just a blip.

My salad and awesome veggie knife that I just like to look at while eating:

Posted by Jeremy at 3:45 PM