Beefschwag

Today, I won the daily trivia contest from my nemesis, KMGN The Mountain of Classic Meatloaf. The question was, "What is the average life span of a human hair?" In my wisdom, I realized they weren't talking about the stillborn life span of hair that I'm used to, so I prodded Google and ran across '6 years' and 'from 2 to 6 years' on a couple websites. I got through via the miracle of *-9 redial every 5 seconds, guessed '6 years' and missed. Undeterred, I tried again, since the jokers they were playing on the breaks so far were guessing 47 years and 100 years. And I'm thinking, for Pete's sake, your dialing fingers have GOT to be hurting, can't you guess something sensible for your trouble? So I got through again, purely on account of my masterful dialing and pausing skills. I averaged the second site's numbers, guessed 4 years, and scored the prize. Ten dollars off at Taco Bell. D'oh! When I have my weekly cholesterol-cheating piggie meal, I can tell you right now, it's not going to be from Taco Bell. But still, I can use it to pick up some tacos or Mexican Pizzas any of the people in my life that aren't vascularly challenged. Fortunately, the DJ wasn't expecting me to get all worked up in a lather of excitement because I won, like some of those characters do. "Hey! You just won a five dollar gift certificate to Jake's Plumbing Fixtures! How does THAT make you feel???"

"Like a freaken loser, pal."

But I was gracious. Because, hey, mouths to feed.

The guy did ask me what I was up to. "Oh, just workin away" (...except for all the dialing I just finished doing, buddy). And then he asks the kicker question they always ask, "Where are ya workin?" Whereupon I engaged my cloaking device, "Uh, yeeeahhh, I'd rather not sayyyyyy." "Ohhhh, you work at one of THOSE places, huh? Har har har." And I'm thinking, yeah, and so does almost everybody else who calls in, but I guess I'm the only one who doesn't want to stir up the office cranks, thank you very much.

Right. Gotta go pick up Giselle at school.

Mobile.