Man, I woke up in an uncommonly good mood this morning. Which of course meant I was an obnoxious twit to the rest of my sleepy grouchy family. Giselle was sitting with her head face down on the breakfast table, Harrison was scuffing lopsidedly into the kitchen with his hair all sticking up, and there was Amanda with eyes half-closed trying to fumble coffee grounds into the filter. And there I was "Ohhhh Courage! Your hairrrrrr!" and with smooshy lipped face "Does Giselle want yummy goldfish for breakfast?" and "Sommmebody neeeeds some coffeeeeee...", you know, just general all around taunting. Harrison tottered around, stared at me with his one good eye and told me to "Stop it!" Giselle just groaned, and Amanda threatened to throw a shoe at me. I have no regrets so far. I have to take these opportunities when I can.
Then I get in to work, and first thing, a vendor shows up to 'say hi'. I guess we had all forgotten she was going to 'stop by' this morning. And to make matters worse, she's one of the folks that sells promotional products. Goody. I knew that stood a good chance of draining the perky out of me. So we all piled into our mini conference room and watched as nick-nack after nick-nack was passed around. Little acryclic cubes filled with two colors of liquid and a note holding clip on top, pens that double as radios, football shaped clocks that float on magnets, squishy anatomically correct hearts that you throw against the wall so they can slowly gloop-roll down to the floor. Uh..eheh...here ya go doc, this is an organ we manufacture stents for...now throw it against that window!
Just all sorts of "neat stuff people can keep on their desks" with our logo on them to remind them who was thoughtful enough to endow them with a rotating lens with flashing lights. At one point she brought out a little red plastic half-sphere with slots on it for holding notes on your desk and says "I don't know you guys, what do you think about this one? I'm not to sure I care for it. What do you guys think?" And I'm thinking "What? Is this your sacrificial lamb that is somehow different from the little bendy stick-man toy that has magnetic hands and feet and all the rest of this flapdoodle?" Finally she brought out the pens and I said, "Alrighty! Down to the meat and potatoes!" I don't think she grasped what I was saying. But there were some pretty nice pens in her collection. People like pens. And if they write nicely, they actually use them. But a magnetic puzzle with inspirational phrases on it? Bzzzzt. Where's that trap door lever...oh yea--Foosh!
Then Rob and I got to put a sour-puss on the gal from accounting who was selling all the last minute Christmas Party tickets and was absolutely poleaxed when we declined. D'oh! Buncha scroogy media-group people.
Mmmm. I just had some hot fluffy oatmeal and I'm feeling better again.
You get magnetic stick-men?!? I used to *dream* of getting magnetic stick-men! Would've been like a palace to me!
The guys I get to see are still stuck in the 20th century. The last time our Dodge rep came by he had belt buckles. They were the large, line-dancin'/tobacco-chewing/cousin-marrying kind that said in big stamped letters, "RAM THIS." Great. And this comes a week after the updated sexual harassment training, too. Does anybody in this stupid company ever talk to anyone else?
From the vendors we get a lot of hats. It's always, "Hey, want a hat?" Now look. I'm one of the lucky 1% of the population to have red hair. On top of that, I avoided the thinness and bristleness that often accompany the color. In short, my hair is the crowning glory on what is otherwise a wholly unremarkable salute to mediocre genetics. The *last* thing I want to do is cover it up.
What's more, the hat is emblazoned with the Castrol logo not once, but twice, front and back. I guess the marketing guy was afraid that someone in the shopping for a new brand of motor oil- which I do several times a year, don't you? /sarcasm- might only see the back of my head, and with no logo there, why, he might choose another brand! So I would look like a gas station attendant. As if I wouldn't have enough trouble with the ladies after hiding my hair, this would ensure that I couldn't get kissed in a Women's Prison with a handful of pardons.
But that's OK. I could wear the "RAM THIS" belt buckle, remove the "l" from the "Castrol" logo, and go to certain bars in San Francisco. I bet I'd get lots of attention.
oh man, lol
Dude- Manda told me about this morning and your perkiness. Think she spoke of desires to seriously hurt you! Got to do it sometimes though! No one here has a sense of humor in the mornin'either. What's the dillio with that? I don't know why anyone wouldn't want two bouncing, overly excited, toilet drinkin-then likin the facin, dogs jumping on their kidneys first thing in the morning! Better than coffee!
Don't you just love Glo!
Dude, your public is starved for more tidbits of the life of Isam. So but out your Dvorak boomstick and get busy.