Eye for an Eye

Eye for an Eye

This weekend, we were watching a TV show about the evolution of modern cosmetic companies. Don't ask me why. But it was funny how unsophisticated those 1950s commercials were about pointing out everything that can be wrong with your face and how such-and-such product could fix it to perfection. Not that it isn't ten times worse today, but the marketing companies have honed their techniques to a much finer point. And so they were pointing out the regular stuff like blemishes (zits), and dark bags under the eyes, and such, but then the lady mentions 'other facial flaws' as she points to that little crease that runs from the corner of your nose to the corner of your mouth. And I thought, 'what the heck?' that's like saying your nostril is a 'facial flaw'...well okay, in my case, that may be true. I'm not saying that I actually use my thumb to pick my nose, but uh... Well still, calling that smile crease a flaw is so silly.

Anyway, that got me to thinking about a meeting I had with a couple people the other day about scripting actions into a database they were setting up. And the gal who was asking most of the questions turned out to have a couple of big hairy stitches in her bottom lip. And that was THE very first thing I noticed when we all sat down. It was like she was tentatively chewing on a black widow spider and the front legs were the only thing sticking out. And my eyes just wouldn't stop flickering down to them. Now I don't know whether I just developed this visual fixation problem in the past few years, or whether I've always had it, and only recently noticed it, but anyway, when I'm talking to somebody that has some sort of strange blemish on their face, like a huge mole, or a festering zit, or a hair-lip, or an ulcerated cornea, or a lazy eye, or an incredibly floppy combover, etc. etc., I find that my eyes just reflexively flicker to whatever the incongruity is as I'm talking to them. It's like that little psychological trick, where somebody tells you not to think about a Polar Bear, and no matter what you do, that Polar Bear is just popping up in your mind left and right, it's sitting on a bar stool, it's eating rice crispy treats, it's driving a car, it's wearing your underwear, etc., etc. Ah the uncontrollable mind.

I just felt so horrible the whole time we were talking, because I was concentrating so hard on NOT looking at it, but I...just...couldn't...stop...glancing...down. And I could tell she noticed my glances because she would bring her hand up and cover her mouth when she wasn't talking, or try to face the other way, or suck in her bottom lip--which must've hurt like the dickens. I don't know, I guess if I'm going to give somebody a complex, I prefer to do it on purpose. She probably went home an cried herself ta sleep on her wee medicated pillah.

Heh, Amanda and I were in the kitchen just now throwing some vittles on the stove, and Giselle just came up and asked what's for dinner. Amanda turned and said, "Tonight, it's the Shock and Awe dinner. You'll know it when you see it." bwahahahah. I love my family.