Emotional Bedsores

Emotional Bedsores

Mind if I drone on some more?

Great.

I'm not a cheery person in the morning. Especially after the weekend. I come in to work, and exchange greetings to a few different folks on the way to my desk. And I'm okay with "Hey", "Hi", "Hello", and other similar sayings. But the one thing I can't make myself say is, "Good morning", even when people say it to me. All I can come back with is "Howdy." I don't fully understand why. I've tried to explore the roots of the problem, and beyond the fact that I'm not riding a tidal wave of endorphines for the first couple hours of my day, the only other thing I can come up with is that saying "Good morning" to someone is like I'm giving something up. Like oh yeah, I don't mind seeing you right now, and "Hiya", but no way in heck are you going to force me to be happy and cheery and optimistic at 8:30 in the morning (sakes, I have it rough coming in at this unthinkable hour).

Mondays are the worst for this...but not because of the usual Monday reasons. It's because people inevitably want to know how your weekend went. And I know they're just being nice. But it's like I've either got a choice of being fake and saying "Oh yes, wonderful weekend. How was yours?" or being honest and saying "Oh holy crap. I didn't get any work done out in the yard. I sat on my bloated rear end all weekend long and watched Law and Order reruns with the missus. The kids were crawling all over me, and I think my hemmorhoids are coming back. And I'd ask you how your weekend went, but I'm sure it was way better than mine, and I don't need to feel any worse about it right now." And that's not to say I don't have good weekends, but when I do, I don't feel like sharing. "That was my awesome weekend, and ain't no way anybody is going to leech off my goodtime vibes. THEY'RE MINE! MINE I TELL YOU!!!"

Ugh. I'm a selfish jerk.

If I had waited until the caffeine took effect before writing this, I don't think I could've pulled together the right emotions. Is crabbiness an emotion or a symptom?

Allright. I gotta get on with it.

My day that is.

Jeremy