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October 8, 2003

Salutations

Now and then I have to send business emails to doctors or folks in Europe for one forgettable reason or another. I always struggle with how to address and close those emails. When I'm communicating with your average slob in the U.S., I can pretty much use informal email protocols:

Hey Bob,

Here's your images.

Enjoy,
JP

Back in the old days of handwritten letter writing, you opened business correspondence with "Dear so & so," and closed with a selection of "Yours truly," "Sincerely", "Best wishes," etc. And I've tried that now & then with casual slap & dash office emails, but it just feels silly.

If I may be my own apologist here, I'm not saying I don't care if I sound curt or rude. I do make an effort address people by name, and end with my name, and try my best not to swear at them. It's the "dears" and "sincerelies" I get hung up on. I used to end all my memos with "Thank you," because it was safe and easy, and because I'm a cog, and that's what the cogs do. But I stopped doing that when I realized it was diluting the times when I really meant it. It's just stupid to say,

Hi Scragg,

Hope you had a nice weekend. Attached, find all fourty-five pdf documents that I spent the last 30 hours formatting and distilling for you.

Thanks,
Jer

See, I seriously used to do that. It makes absolutely no sense.

Folks across the Atlantic aren't sloppy about these things though, and they use "Dear" when they address you, and then finish with two very popular European closings, "Regards," and the much peppier "Best regards,". Oh okay, and sometimes you'll get the snazzy "Ciao!" But that only holds on so long. If you start emailing back and forth during that one hour in the morning when you are at work the same time as they are, they'll start dropping the formalities. And this requires attention so that you're not throwing in alternating varieties of "regards" when they've hit the casual threshold and you look like a machine.

The toughest though is the doctors. You just can't mess around there. It's got to be Dear Dr. [last name], even if they are the really casual personable types that like to sign with just their first names. So no matter how simply they address you and sign off, you've got to come off like a tool the whole time. And then when the ones you think are casual come back and address me as "Mr. Perez," I don't know whether I misread them, or they're just playing the game too, or if they really think I am a stiff.

I'm going nowhere with this, I know. I just haven't posted anything in a while because I've got a couple pictorial posts I want to do, but haven't had time to mess around with.

Kindest regards,
Mr. P

Posted by Jeremy at October 8, 2003 3:45 PM